Bacon on Bree: Bacon for people who eat carbs

Bacon on Bree

The Plus One getting an eyeful of Salma Hayek

I gave my Plus One a side eye worthy of Michelle Obama as he nibbled on Salma Hayek. But I was being unreasonable as I was taking hearty bites out of Harvey Specter. This wasn’t one of those couple celebrity free passes, Bacon on Bree keeps an already interesting menu spicy by naming their sandwiches after movie stars, TV characters and movies.

After being up North for a week I was hungry for a classic Cape Town breakfast. I could taste the Jason Bakery doughssant already. But Jason Bakery had other plans for the long weekend that didn’t include my pastry needs and was boarded up.

Bacon on Bree

Top left: The Harvey Specter on the pig shaped plate. Top right: In the shaddow of a church, it was Easter weekend after all. Bottom right: Not on the menu (yet), the baconccino. Bottom right: Foto credit – Bacon on Bree/Facebook

Just up the street there’s a row of establishments squished together, each quirkier than the rest. Mother’s Ruin are amongst these with excellent gin cocktails. Its neighbour has a signature ingredient with a slightly wider appeal, bacon.

The service was extremely friendly and helpful, yet we had to ask twice for my Bacon Mary and three times for the Plus One’s second flat white. They did indulge us with 2 rashes of bacon with the coffee so the Plus One could create world’s first baconccino (patent pending).

Crispy and thin, we both wiggled a rasher of bacon out of our respective sandwiches to taste it by itself first. I was reminded of a Parks and Recreation episode where Ron Swanson asks a waitress to bring him all the bacon and eggs in the place. He calls her back – and to paraphrase – says that he doesn’t mean that he wants a lot of bacon, he wants ALL the bacon.

I’m willing to ask three times, I want all the bacon (and ciabatta) at Bacon on Bree.

Bacon on Bree
217 Bree Street, Cape Town
Tel: +27 21 422 2798
Also read:
Cheese & Whine: Bacon On Bree for Brunch
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Ron Swanson for ants

A year and a day ago, The Plus One proposed to me during an episode of Parks and Recreation. Not a conventional engagement story but for me it was the most romantic thing he could do.  Ron

Seeing as I still haven’t found him a ring yet I tried to compensate with a very special gift, one of Lorrain Loots’ Paintings for ants.

Lorraine has committed to painting one miniature a day for the whole of 2013. I started following the project after reading a blog post on I want a Dodo. What captured me most about the project was that it didn’t just focus at seemingly ‘spectacular’ subjects. Ranging from 2 tiny pigeon eggs in a nest to the former Athlone Cooling Towers, to a plastic toy dinosaur. Lorraine captures memories in 24 x 24mm – and sometimes even smaller than that.

Paintings-for-Ants

Ron Swanson is the coolest character in Parks and Rec so picking him as the subject of my miniature was a no brainer. And yes, somehow I don’t think that he will approve of such “tom foolery”.

I am not a Belieber but…

This is a mildly shameful post. I went to a Justin Bieber concert and I liked it.

My official story is that it was for the children. It was their Christmas present. Truthfully, it was for 12 year old Jana. She got her first pimple last week and I needed to cheer her up.

At least I am not THIS Jana

At least I am not THIS Jana

In the weeks leading up to the show, the Eight Year Old watched Justin Bieber music videos every day. The Eleven Year Old was less enthusiastic. Buying concert tickets for a preteen a few months in advance is not always such a great idea. Bieber is not cool any more. Apparently Skrillex is all the rage. Not when Skrillex was actually in the country of course.

For once Big Concerts got the opening acts right by selecting South African performers who fit in the main act’s demographic. Chiano Sky held her own amongst the boys in skin tight red ‘leggings as pants’. I suspect the Beliebers might have been slightly jealous of the fact that she got to meet Bieber because she definitely did not get the cheer that she deserved. The Locnville twins, on the other hand, were met with screams to the tune of roughly 75% of the decibels that for Bieber.

Proof: We did bring the kids

Proof: We did bring the kids

The wait was excruciating. For the Beliebers. I spent that time going to the restroom, created false hope by pointing randomly at exits while shrieking and not standing in the queue at the bar. The lack of a queue was Utopia. The Beliebers spent the time going hysterical every time there was a slight change in scenery. A changeover of song, a sneeze, a pin dropping.

Then there was the ultimate change of scenery: A loud bang, a blinding flash from the stage and a ten minute countdown on the screens. A short high pitched 10 minutes later the man himself swaggered on stage all decked out in white with a walk best described as zombie gangster. The Beliebers went crazy. The cool people who were only there as “chaperones” went crazy. Even the guy selling biltong had a glint in his eye.

Bar

If only the bar sold fat free non-alcoholic Justin Bieber saliva

The amount of money and planning that went into that show is second only to the Lady Gaga Monster’s Ball. Pyrotechnics that shot high into the air, HD screens that looked better than the real thing, amazing dancers and a killer stage set up.

There was no skandaal. No throwing up or people tackling Justin Bieber. It was a perfectly executed pop concert. There were hints of something more like when Justin performed snippet of rapper Tyga’s Rock City with his bassist. Then it was back to pop business making the girls fall even harder in love with him by grabbing his crotch.

There's a sold out stadium concert, then there's this

There’s a sold out stadium concert, then there’s this

Five songs into the set the Eight Year Old fell asleep. Yes, he slept through the high pitched shrieks of 45 000 + beliebers. He was recovering from the flu but he didn’t want to miss the show. We left about 6 songs later and he was safely tucked in bed by 22:20.

The 12 year old Jana is happy and will go back to her dormant state for the foreseeable future. The 25 year old Jana needs a good rock show now. One where a stupid brat won’t kick her chair. And where she won’t refer to herself in the third person.

The Eleven Year Old had a blast in spite of himself. He might even admit to his friends that he was there. Likely not.

* Photos by @glanskind